My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
