My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize