I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
