Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
