I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.