I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal