How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.