I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.