how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There r osticjed everywhere
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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