I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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