The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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