Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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