Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
