the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
