It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
