I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
