You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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