So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
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I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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