And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
