New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
