I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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