Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
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Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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