So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
We need a shit load of segways right now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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