his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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