I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize