Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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