And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
