Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
