pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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