Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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