i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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