It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
