no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
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stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
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You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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