Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My friends, they love my intelligence
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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