omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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