That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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