Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
