Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
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He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
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I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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