im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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