I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
