I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
