I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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