shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
