we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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