Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
