I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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