It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
