Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
