Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
