did you get engaged???
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
