the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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