Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
