similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You took a bar mat shot.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
