You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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