quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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