I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
