no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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