I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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