Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
