Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
