Soap is not a condiment
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
