I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
