9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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